My heart teeters back and forth on you.
I can't have her so why enjoy her and get closer now to
I want her…what I have for her is real, I feel it why not enjoy while I can
My fucking head hurts trying to think of the possibilities in how we can continue to get deeper and closer.
My logic mind says.."quite fucking with yourself, you know it will end, she is not leaving, its not an option, let her go."
My heart argues strongly against my head, "You love her, you feel her, you need her, you want her."
We are complete and total opposites and we are both very strong.
Finding the balance of where to give and take we are learning.
I feel my life without her in it will not be as bright.
Questions crowd my mind and consume my thoughts.
Why is she pursing me knowing she can never fully be with me?
Why is she playing with fire?
Why are we attracted to one another?
Do we just see the pieces of ourselves that the rest of the world doesn't get and that's what pulls us in?
Is it curiosity?
Is it lust?
Is this really true love?
Will it really end?
Can I live a life where my heart is given to solely to her and her heart is split two ways?
How do I even begin to make a three way with only two ways functioning on my end?
How badly will I get hurt?
Will Europe time apart push us further away or push us over the edge coming closer together?
Will I feel stuck?
Will my life''s ambitions, passions and desires subside?
Will I lose myself?
Does she really love me or is this all just new and exciting finding someone who gets you?
How can we be on the same page yet in two completely different books?
Can we build a life together with a completely separate element?
The questions keep coming and flood my thoughts, consume my mind and leave me with even more questions and no answers.
I would like to think I could just let go and let be yet that's not how I work.
There are downfalls to having such and intelligent mind!
I am trying to take one day at a time with her.
I feel her.
She makes my body shiver when she touches me.
We laugh a lot together. Laughter seems to be our "cure" at the moment.
We gets pieces of me….still woking on understanding all of the differences.
I listen to her even though I try and resist.
She makes me smile from the inside out.
I crave her, desire he yearn for her when we are not together.
Goodbyes……I would burn them if I could.
Good mornings start my day in a way that I like to say good morning.
We can talk for hours….and hours…..and hours………..
We share pieces of our day with one another when we are apart.
I need her in my life and I am trying to figure out why
When I am with her, its like we have been spending our lives together for years
Being with her is easy its being away from her that wants to kill me.
Our experiences are natural, not forced or fake
I want her in every way possible
I want to dive deep into her core and see the real her. Meet someone maybe she hasn't even met yet.
I want to love her with all of the love I have to give and receive it in return.
All of my wants and needs and I am not sure how to untangle all of it.