Did you ever think to extend the pleasure?
Filled with fear, hesitation, anxiety you made her feel like a disgusting disease.
You made her and the rest of me feel unwanted.
I spewed my desires and passions in my partner.
Maybe she will hear it as a plea not a judgement.
Maybe she will realize there are two fingers pointed in every situation.
Her own finger at her and my own finger at me.
Not in this case. Both fingers were pointed at me.
Claims to open mindedness yet my genital stood in your way.
The night I fucked you, you had no problem driving into my hand.
After your euphoria you realized I still had a vagina and ran out.
My vagina is still here and not going away.
Your rejection cut through my core yet I kept trying hoping I could convey to you what a life we could have.
Upbringing, fears, pre conceived notations held us back from that life.
Fear was chosen over love.
Your decision was already made from you and you decided to still ride along.
You said we would never make it, you were waiting for the shoe to drop.
The shoe dropped.
You got what you asked for leaving me behind in the particles of dust thinking we could have had a life together
Together didn't exist.
Courage to reach out and gain another perspective never came to fruition.
Dead life rolling in an empty carcass decaying, disintegrating into the air to never have existed.
I was always a woman and still am
You lacked pride within yourself so there was no pride for us.
The things you said you loved about me you also turned them into a negative yet claimed you supported me.
This is not support.
You took your "love" away quite often as it never was really there.
Loving me is loving my physical, emotional and mental being.
Rejection after rejection
Try after try
Now I'm here stuck in a space filled with hatred and negativity
Why? Bc the city we chose to come to is one of the top three most expensive cities.
Why? Bc part of me thinks this is what she needs to realize that she really does want a life with me.
Why? Bc I keep my word in saying I will take care of my responsibilities and not leave them for you to clean up.
Why? Bc you have no one.
Why? Bc I have always cared despite your thoughts about who I am.
Why? Bc I am a proud woman who has died a little inside these past two and a half years and I want to understand why we are here and if anything can be resolved, dissolved and started fresh.